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The Attitude of Gratitude – week 17

These are the things I’m grateful for from the last week:

Monday: Watching the solar eclipse in the USA live on TV, and doing a fire ceremony to release and let go.
Tuesday: Personal revelations that will help me on my journey towards better emotional responsibility.
Wednesday: Creating my Facebook page for She Holds The Bowl.
Thursday: Walking in the field and seeing all the Hawthorn berries, and playing on the swings to indulge my inner child.
Friday: Goddesses in Everywoman by Jean Shinoda Bolen – archetypes within women explored through the Greek Goddesses.
Saturday: Going to Lincoln for the afternoon and seeing all of the Steampunk people in their fabulous outfits.
And: Seeing the Domesday Book, Magna Carta and the Charter of the Forest at Lincoln Castle. This is the only time in recent history the Domesday Book has been displayed outside of the National Archives, and it will be returning in a matter of days.
Sunday:  Beautiful sunshine and warm weather.

Post-it note positivity

Sometimes when I’m struggling I need a little reminder that I am making progress, even if it doesn’t always feel like it.

My beloved Penguins provide the perfect inspiration. No matter how long it takes, no matter the terrain, no matter how many times they slip and slide, Penguins keep going.

So I made a little Post-it note doodle to keep me uplifted. Enjoy 🙂

Learning Acceptance through Surrender, & exchanging Fight for Drive

Note: this article is purely about personal development and is not alluding to wider issues in the world.

When something happens that has a profound impact on our life, or the way we live it, we can start to rail against it. We fight it. And this is the normal reaction for the majority of people, because we fight to reclaim what we have lost or feel we are losing. When we’re faced with something like illness, but especially those conditions that are chronic, lifelong or terminal, a certain ‘battle’ terminology prevails. But, ultimately, ‘fighting’ is refusing to accept what is.

When I was diagnosed with M.E./Chronic Fatigue Syndrome at 17 I felt like my whole world fell apart. I fought constantly against the thief that stole my energy, my life, my dreams and my hopes for the future. I fought it desperately, trying to cajole it and my body into cooperating with the life I thought I wanted to live. I felt like if I stopped fighting I was just giving up, giving in and being weak.
It took me years, until I was relapsing again and on a Cognitive Behavioural Therapy ‘course’ for people with M.E./CFS, that I had my breakthrough. I finally realised I didn’t have to keep fighting or give up, I had to learn how to Surrender.

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The Attitude of Gratitude -week 16

These are the things I’m grateful for from the last week:

Monday: The book I won in an online competition arrived.
Tuesday: An interesting video on Shadow work by Kelly Ann Maddox.
Wednesday: My new set of oracle cards arrived today – Soulful Woman Guidance Cards.
Thursday: Tasting some of the plums, apples and blackberries from our garden – yummy!
And: Playing my viola for the first time in years – see here.
Friday: Receiving some messages of support and encouragement.
Saturday: Discovering by accident that I can ‘sing’ Polyphonic Overtones – see this video for more information. It’s weird but cool… and no, I can’t sing them like this.
Sunday: The internet – how it helps me through sharing and reading blog posts, and the availability of information.

Shadow work – revealing the diamond in the rough

I can’t say yet that I’m grateful for the manner in which they came, but my own reaction and the feelings brought up by the way that a friendship ended started me on my own journey of healing and reintegration. This has actually been one of the greatest gifts I have received, because it started me on my journey of emotional responsibility and working with my own Shadows.

As Shadow work progresses you gradually strip back the layers of conditioning, of things you pushed aside and didn’t want to look at. You start to remove the rock and dust to reveal the raw diamond of your Self.

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Music for healing – playing the viola for the first time in years

Today, for the first time in years, I got out my viola and played. I only had the physical strength to play for a few minutes, it sounded a little scratchy, and my finger pads are sore, but I loved it. I love the feel of the strings vibrating when I sweep the bow across them, the feel of the sound vibrating through the wood and into me. Playing the viola – and even just listening to string instruments – pulls on my own heart strings. Music can help to heal the heart.

I hope that, even building it up a minute at a time, I can start to reconnect with my own musical heart, and heal my emotional heart in the process… another string to my self-care bow.