Thoughts on Hope

Purple-blue nebula_01_hope at its most beneficial - Copy

Hope at its most beneficial is optimism with a healthy dose of faith. It isn’t blind optimism – it isn’t reaching for the truly impossible – but it does allow for flexibility in the realms of possibility.

(This is taken from my article Thoughts on Hope)

(c) Michelle Gilberthorpe, She Holds The Bowl, 2017

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Our choices lead us to where we are now

Purple-blue nebula_01_our choices lead us

Our choices lead us to where we are now, and by taking responsibility for our emotions we can make better-informed decisions going forward. We understand that our actions lead us down the path we are on, and our reactions are also a choice. As we become more aware we make better choices for us, for our needs, for our wellbeing, for our boundaries and integrity.

(c) Michelle Gilberthorpe, She Holds The Bowl, 2017

The Attitude of Gratitude – week 21

These are the things I’m grateful for from the last week:

Monday: Picking Dandelions with mum to make a tincture.

Tuesday: Doodling with metallic pens on black card. Very relaxing.
Wednesday: Salt scrubs and hot showers.
Thursday: Going to Lincoln and treating myself to some goodies – love Lush’s Each Peach & Two’s a Pair massage bar.
Friday: Being able to express myself through poetry.
Saturday: Spending time catching up on Sleepy Hollow with dad.
Sunday: Messages of encouragement.

Quote on dance and vulnerability by Brene Brown

…for many of us, there is no form of self-expression that makes us feel more vulnerable than dancing. It’s literally full-body vulnerability. The only other full-body vulnerability that I can think of is being naked, and I don’t have to tell you how vulnerable that makes most of us feel.

For many people, risking that kind of public vulnerability is too difficult, so they dance at home or only in front of people they care about. For others, the vulnerability is so crushing that they don’t dance at all.

Brene Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection

The Self-discovery process is not selfish

Purple-blue nebula_01_discovering the self

I was told by someone at the beginning of my journey that the Self-discovery process is a selfish one. To those outside of this very personal process (everyone!) it may well seem like a ‘selfish’ time. For once we’re starting to put our needs first, and maybe we’re not playing by the well-established rules and dynamics any more. It can be hard for some people in our lives to accept this, and so I can see why on some level the Self-discovery process may be seen as selfish.
BUT I would argue that, on a larger scale, it is probably the most responsible thing we can do. While it may cause problems in the short term, and with established relationships or situations, in the long term it means we will be showing up with far more honesty, integrity, responsibility for our own emotions, and inner Knowing. It means that we will be making better choices, taking more informed actions, showing up for what truly matters for us, and disengaging from that which is unhealthy, unhelpful and stifling our true Self.

It will always be a work in progress – there is no end date for this – but by concentrating on undoing conditioning and programming, by detaching from unhealthy patterns, behaviours, situations and relationships, we get to show up for ourselves. In doing so we stop looking outside of ourselves to apportion blame and we look within to the lessons we can learn, and how to heal and move forward. We take responsibility for what is ours and discard the rest. We learn, we grow, and we Become.

Discovering the Self is not selfish. It is the most responsible thing you can do, not only for yourself but for your relationships – past, present and future – and for all those who cross your path.

Something to ponder on: would we be called selfish for taking a gap year? How about if we went on a spiritual retreat? Or what if we were going on an open-ended foreign trip? Of course we wouldn’t. So why is it deemed selfish to devote time to Self-discovery? Perhaps because the people in our lives know we may ‘come back’ from this irrevocably changed. It is their fearful projections that turn the journey to the Self into a ‘selfish’ pursuit.
We may well have very real responsibilities (children, a job, a partner) that we must not forget in our quest, but we cannot allow the fears of others to hold us back or discourage us from walking as far as we can along our pathway. It is our right to walk our path, and no one else has the right to stop us or try to hinder our progress. If they cannot accept our growth then perhaps they are not meant to walk beside us any longer. The paths that once ran parallel may now diverge.
Sometimes the journey to the Self means saying goodbye to people, behaviours, things and situations that no longer feel right to continue with us. It doesn’t mean those were ‘bad’ things, necessarily, but that who we are no longer resonates with them.

To those who feel left behind it can feel like we’re making a selfish choice, but really it’s the only choice. If we’re to live a life of true self-worth and integrity we have to be true to our Selves. Dimming our Light and continuing old patterns cloaks the Self. It may make others more comfortable but ultimately we are chaining ourselves to the same old cycles, and this can breed resentment. Only by taking time to discover the Self can we break free, and sometimes this means being ‘selfish’ and moving on to other things.

 

The Attitude of Gratitude – week 20

These are the things I’m grateful for from the last week:

Monday: Reconnecting.
Tuesday: The support and love of friends and family.
Wednesday: An article that really helped.
Thursday: Full Moon, and burning a load of emotional processing work.
Friday: Won a free massage from a local therapy centre.
Saturday: Time alone in the house so I can sing.
Sunday: Painting – getting to experiment with my masking fluid pen and watercolours.

Reclaim Sacred Anger – leave behind the rage

With the events in Las Vegas fresh in the mind I believe now is an important time for us all to remember the difference between Anger and Rage, and how to work with Sacred Anger to bring about more effective change.

A lot of people mistake rage, outrage and aggression for anger. Anger itself isn’t explosive, it’s motivating. Sacred Anger shows you where something goes against your needs, values and integrity. It motivates you to make a change. Taking it out on other people is ignoring Sacred Anger’s lesson and is more about personal gratification or not wanting to see the truth of what might actually be triggering you.
Sacred Anger shows us boundaries crossed, where we’ve not showed up for ourselves, what is important to us, where we should be doing more to help ourselves, others and the planet. It is done with strength, not force. It is channelled into productive, not destructive, means. It can be used to focus us, to keep us aware of what needs to change, and on where we need to change.
Sacred Anger does not blame, it asks, “What do I need to do?” “Where have I possibly contributed to this?” “Where do I need to contribute more?” “Where do I need to clearly assert my needs better?” “What can I do to make things better?” “What have I been ignoring/ overlooking/ ‘accepting’ for too long?” “What can I do to prevent this from happening again?” “What can I do to help myself and others?” “What do I need to be addressing?”

The key is to be responsive, not reactive. Sacred Anger asks deep questions of us, it doesn’t play the blame-game and it doesn’t get involved in power-struggles. Sacred Anger recognises that we are the ones that have to change – whether it’s in our perspective, thoughts or actions – and that we are the only ones who can heal and truly help ourselves, and make changes that can help others. Sacred Anger allows us to show up with motivation for wider change.

(c) Michelle Gilberthorpe, She Holds The Bowl, 2017