Finding a balance with compromise

Compromising is a part of our daily lives. It’s a part of how we relate to others with care for their differences and needs. When in balance compromise aids our relationships with others and the world around us. It shows we are open and that we are willing to factor in their needs because we value them and their presence in our lives. Part of showing we are loving and considerate individuals is through compromise.

A healthy amount of compromise shows respect, but over-compromising ultimately reflects a lack of respect for ourselves. If we constantly over-compromise to please others we are not deeming our own needs important enough. Over time this can lead to burn-out because we are not feeding our own needs and tending to our own self-care enough. It’s like adding wood to everyone else’s fires to keep them warm and not saving enough logs for our own.
If we over-compromise to please others, because we don’t want to ‘upset’ them in some way, we are again neglecting our own need for self-care. We can become stifled and may even start to resent the person we over-compromise for. Over time it can lead to feeling trapped, or forgetting our own ‘spark’ and feeling drained.

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Shadow work – being willing to scrape the barrel

If we’re willing to really scrape the barrel and look at the dregs then Shadow work can open up whole new levels of realisation and understanding. In looking at the least palatable things we don’t want to see or own in ourselves sometimes we can gain crucial insight. This can allow us to finally free ourselves from deep-seated conditioning.
It’s not pretty, and its not fun, but it’s worthwhile when we finally feel that shift as we start to integrate and work with this new understanding.

Even the darkness can be beautiful. Claim it as your own, hold it close, give it the love it so desperately needs, and it might just reward you.

(c) Michelle Gilberthorpe, She Holds The Bowl, 2018

New Year inspiration: ‘You Can Choose’ by Rochelle Schieck, founder of Qoya

You can choose to say Yes.

You can choose love.

You can choose to stay in.

You can choose to go out.

You can choose to quit the job.

You can choose to stay in the job.

You can choose to complete a cycle.

You can choose to begin a new cycle.

You can choose a lot of things.

The most important thing is to consciously choose. 

– Rochelle Schieck, founder of Qoya (from the December newsletter)