Forgiveness is a journey. Sometimes you cannot complete it yet because you are separated from your own Heart. In a bid to protect yourself the barriers went up, perhaps completely unconsciously, but now they have become a block. This block stops you from accessing the depths and expansiveness of your Heart.
You will know this is the case when you actually want to forgive someone and it causes you pain to be unable to do so. Despite everything there is still some part that can’t seem to let go, and it causes distress.
You are not a ‘bad person’ for not forgiving. If you’ve been working hard on forgiveness and letting go, and anger or bitterness are no longer the dominant emotions, it’s time to reconnect with your Heart. If you are trying everything you can but you cannot consistently access feelings of trust, joy or love then this is a big clue. You may be able to feel ‘negative’ emotions or pain, but be unable to consistently feel the more ‘positive’ ones.
Perhaps in fleeting moments, around certain people, or in certain situations you can access those depths, but mostly it’s on a kind of surface level. There is a disconnect between you and your Heart.
This shows you where your focus for healing now needs to be. Once reconnected to those depths the last pieces can fall into place… and lasting forgiveness can follow.
(c) Michelle G, She Holds The Bowl, 2018